Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Pins and Needles

my neck and back pain have gotten really bad...
and if y'all know Jessica, you know her story. (see Jess' blog: www.generationstandup.blogspot.com
but I find myself relating myself to her pain more and more
each day
she has been having bad head pains,
well that's how bad mine have gotten...
every morning when i get to school I get this headache
and it feels like someone is sticking pins and needles in my head
and then it goes away in like 4 hours...its really weird!
but i just start praying that God would take the pain away
and by lunch its all gone,  which is good cuz lunch time with my friends
is something I value.

being at a public school..
you see pretty much everyone from every kind of walk of life
one girl at 14/15 was pregnant and lost her baby, and ended up in rehab
the one kid that smokes....you can smell it on him
the boy from my class is wearing eyeliner and tries to talk to me....
that girl has been with 12 different guys in the last week..
her parents just got a divorce.
his house just burned down in the fire...
you see everything...
people in different walks of life, and it really opens your eyes
personally, i am terrible at being quick to judge and looking down on people
because of their differences.
i have gotten better, but it still happens
but really, for me, its hard not to judge, because i have parents who raised me well
they don't tolerate drugs, or babies.....
but some of these kid's parents aren't even around
so they don't have someone to guide them and tell them what's right and wrong
and i can't even imagine what they have to go through each day
i have tried to have a big heart for these kids who don't know what right and wrong is
or if they do, but don't care
I have tried loving them and showing that what a girl OF GOD looks like
truly, I pray, that I get to these kids and show them what they SHOULD be doing
i'm not saying i'm perfect, but i am trying to follow the path of life God has for me
not one I made for myself
and that really makes me sad
is that these kids think they run their own lives,they have no regard for what God wants
what His plan is for them
they want what THEY want
and what THEIR plan is.
and this breaks my heart terribly.
and I remember that I should be able to sit on pins and needles,
and still be able to pray for them and know "God is working on them"
"He has a plan in their lives"
because, that could be me...
it could be my best friend...
it could be my sister....
but its them,
and God is working in miraculous ways!
pins and needles are the least of my worries.

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